areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
