my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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