She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
