In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
