just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
