we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
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