i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
