The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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