sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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