escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
