I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
