Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then he tried to convert me to islam
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your cock deserves a montage
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
