i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
