The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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