Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drake has all the answers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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