I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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