Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
