she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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