I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
