their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
