I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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