He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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