the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
