used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
