I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
