I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
