well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
