if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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