Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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