So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
