We got so high we made milksteak
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
