and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
