Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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