why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
