Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
