Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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