it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
