A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
