i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
