WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
