He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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