hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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