Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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