Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
