My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
