I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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