would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
