That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize