I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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