so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
