I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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