I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
