do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
